Adventure #1

I decided to have an adventure a day during my break from school, beginning yesterday. That means adventures until June 7. After that, school is adventure enough. So, I cast out to the universe to send me my first adventure and here is what I got:

Monday, April 19: Evading the Fuzz

8 am - Wake up, look around for the check I told MV I'd drop at the bank. No check. Call. He has the check and is working in the shop which is all of 4 miles from the house. Agree to go get the check. After further discussion, agree to get the check in the '72 Roadrunner and swap for the van, leaving it with him for a tune-up after work. He mentions that the gas gauge isn't working, so he should put some gas in after the tune up. (Are you guessing where this goes...?)

10 am - Leaving my road, tires squealing (not my fault - it's a stiff pedal), driving to the shop. Make a right turn. Car is not running. Not at all. Fortunately, coast to the center lane. Try to make the car go. Car is ignoring me. So I am in the center of the road, about 5 cars from the light in the left turn lane except backwards, there are two lanes of traffic on either side.

10:02 am - Me: You have to come right now. The car is dead and I am in the middle of the road. MV: Out of gas? Me: How would I know? I'm guessing but we can't tell until we put some in and see if it goes, huh? MV: But there are tools all outside and I am burning wood. (Note: There is a nice large garbage bin, but apparently extra wood must be burned. Have mentioned this to other guys and they see no reason why this would be odd. They also get a glint in their eyes and offer to help MV at work whenever he needs it.) Me: I am in your RR with expired registration and no insurance and did I mention that I am in the middle of the road. In your illegal vehicle. I apologize in advance for the freak out that I feel coming...but in like 2 seconds some really helpful person is going to call a cop to come rescue me and what do you think he will think about all of this? MV: OK, I am tossing in the tools...

10:15 am - On the phone with MV as he is driving. As I see him approaching, I also see a police car turning into the plaza across the street. Luckily MV gets there first and backs the van up to the car. We prop open the license plate to get to the thingy where you put the gas in - you know, and to hide the 2008 sticker since that makes us feel better. He grabs the gas can he brought and asks who should run across the street to get the gas. Quick decision, he runs and I stand by the cars looking cute and competently rescued. I see the cop car patrolling around the plaza, but it comes nowhere near. Whew...my "I need no help at all" vibe is working.

5 gallons later - MV is dumping gas into the car, the cop is gone and we are making fun of the people who are too dumb to realize that they should go on the other side of the backwards car (with two people standing behind it holding a bright red gas can in a dumping it into the back end fashion) in order to make their left turn. They are all driving crazy and near-missing each other until...screech-bang! From the other side of the van, there is a kind of a crash noise. Me: I heard an accident. MV: Do you really think so? Me (peaking around the edge of the van): Yep. I see a pregnant woman. MV: Oh no. Me: Yep, and she appears to have hit a car with an old lady. MV: Oh no! We have to get out of here!

But I check it out (still peaking around the van since no one can see me smack in the middle of the road if I just stay behind the van) and both get out of the cars and seem fine, so it is totally ok that we are only worried that we need to get the heck out of there before someone calls that cop on back. Plus, they are not only blocking the main forward lane, but between them and us, no one can get to the left turn lane either. It's, frankly, the recipe for a big old mess. Unless of course you are that person who drives around us all to the left in the oncoming traffic lane like that guy in the penis car did.

Fortunately, the accident couple decide to get out of the road to discuss, hop in their cars and turn right to get into the plaza. Neither of them using any turn indicators as they change lanes or make their turns. We feel assured of why they had a smash up - nothing to do with the adorable couple in the middle of the road, it was simply their lack of driving skills.

10:30 - I'm guessing - We need to get away fast. MV jumps in the RR and - yep, putting some gas in appears to have fixed the problem - zooms away. I jump into the nice van which does not have squealing tires and touchy pedals and something called a Detroit Locker which apparently is cool but I still don't know what it does and go meet Mark at the shop. Where we pick up the tools, burn some additional wood (um, turns out it is kind of fun - don't tell) and decide we need some burgers and Starbucks to recover from our adventure.

I have decided that, when requesting an adventure, I need to be far more specific about the type of adventure I want. I would like a nice adventure with no police, no accidents, no standing in the middle of the road and maybe some shopping.

Lessons learned: Other people all drive like sh*t!